Return to site

Why everybody must go to Montana at least ONCE in their Life

I was raised in Montana on a vegetable farm, by 2 amazin’ Asian women who owned their own s@#t- in the heart of Marlboro Man country- at a time when a “woman’s place” was “in the kitchen”.

I know Montana like the yellow of my skin, and Montana is the utopia paradise Nirvana of planet earth-

  • if you’re retired
  • if you love nature
  • if you like to hunt and kill things
  • if you’re a survivalist
  • if you’re a #fakerancher who likes to pretend cowboy 1 week a year.

Montana is like what heaven must be; exquisite beauty, wonder, and amazement, and a lot of nothing to do except look at the exquisite beauty, wonder, and amazement.

 

At one time, there were 100s of 1000s of Asians in Montana; during the “good old days”,when they were lynching “Orientals” alongside Blacks in certain parts; when they were putting Japanese in American concentration camps,and blowing up Chinese on the railroads.

 

Then the younger generation started to question, when the temperature got to 50 below, “isn’t this what we left to get away from?” And they all moved to California.

 

Now Montana is 4 cosmopolitan centers and a LOT of open space, and a LOT of white people. Montana is as homogenized as milk, but with GOOD white people. Some of the BEST white people you’ll ever meet. They are the kind of whites that #woke would put up as white poster people. White supremacy is supreme in Montana, but in the best possible way. They’ll still bring pie to you if you’re new in the neighborhood.

 

Things you must do in Montana

 

Milk a cow

If you can get milk out of an udder, it’s Cowgasm! It will also increase your dexterity for real sex!

 

Ride a horse

If you’ve never been, it’s like being on top of a 3 story building during an earthquake. Your groin feels like mashed potatoes but if you stay on, it’s Horsegasm!

 

Eat a steak

Don’t be vegan in Montana. A good cut of meat is the greatest treat you’ll ever tweet, but not while you’re eating.

 

All Posts
×

Almost done…

We just sent you an email. Please click the link in the email to confirm your subscription!

OKSubscriptions powered by Strikingly